Struggle

I struggle with both my past and the present moment. I don’t understand why my mind keeps leading me back to revisit old memories. I’ve already written a memoir, and I thought that would be enough. However, I’ve realized it isn’t; there are places and moments from my past that I need to let go of, but I’ve been holding on. I’m trying to slowly release the mistakes I made, the places where I felt unwelcome but forced myself to stay, and the people who hurt me—along with those I love but shouldn’t. I try so hard; I know it takes time. I remind myself that my daughter, my husband, and my life fill the broken spaces in me. Sometimes, I even feel guilty for struggling with these feelings. I have so much to be thankful for, and I truly am grateful. Yet, despite this, there are moments when something pulls me back into my past, no matter how hard I fight it.

I hope this won't happen to you; however, if it does, remember that we are human, and it’s normal to have conflicts. It’s important to feel and embrace these emotions honestly to overcome them.

Sharing this story isn’t for pleasure or to induce guilt; it’s meant to remind you that if you’re reading this and relate, you are not alone. It’s a common human experience.

Happy reading!